The one to blame
by MellWong
Summary: "Maybe I have concentrated on the wrong things, maybe she is not the one to blame..."-LSK Leon S. Kennedy tells his story... how he suddenly realize about the real reason of his relationship with the woman he loves the most being so complicated and simple at the same time. She chose to gave her life for him, as he did for her. But hardly stick to his side when he pleads to.
1. Prologue

_"Maybe it wasn't her fault after all, maybe it is just me who wants to keep it this way."_

Sometimes we have no time to even think of what we feel, not in this messed up world where there's no place to think on the little things that surrounds us. Some may think it is easy to carry on a normal life, well it is not... Going on and on in missions where our life is just a thing we can give up to make life possible for the rest of the world, watching how entire groups of citizens, friends, and even family die with only you being the one able to escape with life. I thought a part of me had died when I was just a rookie, when my life changed... when I met her.

I escaped and defeated death but I didn't win, _she _had disappeared as fast as she entered in my life. Holding her steady body into my arms, feeling her life vanishing from her body... but there was no time, not even to stay by her side until her last minute. Being as strong as I have never been before I just walked away and left her... I left her, as I left my past life. There wasn't such thing as a normal life ever since.

Not everything was bad either, I met people who became close friends. A woman searching for her lost brother gave her best to find him and managed to escape alive. A little girl who was determined to survive even though most of the city had already died, that is impressive... and what about me? I trusted a woman whom I barely knew, a woman whose life was a total secret for me, and also the one who was going to stay in heart for ever. I fell in love...

Years passed by and my life didn't change, I tried to take care of Sherry when Claire left to search for his brother into Paris but the government took her into custody soon after we escaped from the devastated city. I turned into a special agent since I knew too much about the incident back in 1998. Apparently it was easier for them to have me under surveillance and at their service. Bedford was the one who recruited me to his newly developed special division, somehow we became friends and I convinced him that the country and the world needed for government protection against bioterrorism. After this I was continuously sent into secret operations and missions, the first one appeared in 2002 in which I traveled to South America. Soon after I was assigned to guard the newly elected President's Graham family and his daughter Ashley was kidnapped. Without knowing the fate that awaited I traveled to Spain, where I found more than I could ever imagined. Everything was different but so similar at the same time, there were odds to fight against but the most important thing for me is that _she_ was there too. What was she doing there? I knew she was alive since I heard off rumors about her working for whom I was fighting against. But it did not make any difference, it was so confusing... I wondered why she never searched for me, even though I had no right to have this feeling. I know I left her there not even knowing she was still alive, but what else could I ask her for? She gave her life for me as I did for her, six years passed by and she continued with her life as I did. Maybe it was for the best though, I promised her and myself that it was not going to end up like that and Umbrella had to pay for taking her from me... Now I find myself here, 15 years later. I have been into nearly 7 operations ever since Raccoon City, I have saved people, or at least tried to. Everyone but myself.


	2. Chapter 1

Hope you like this :) DON'T FORGET TO READ THE EPILOGUE FIRST  
Chapter 1:

He has about 3 hours in the exact same position, sitting on the floor holding a glass of wine thinking over and over about the same thing... The woman. It is almost midnight and he is not willing to sleep, not even though his _normal_ days tend to last minutes. The meaningless T.V. showing news about political problems, weather and things that concerns only to common people. The same kind of people who can go to pick up their children from school, men who can kiss their wives after a long workday... women who can cook their family dinner. Not that he is not enjoying his life, but somehow knows there is a part that he has already gave up because of what he _does_.

An empty room is all he has, just a fancy couch facing a huge TV which had never watched. A small clean kitchen in which no one has ever made a meal, and a big bedroom in which no one had ever made love on. Just like living but without the little things, every time his emotions can show up he gives everything away... Just having Ada's presence nearby makes all this contained feelings to pop-out.

Leon watched earlier that morning his neighbors fight over a meaningless thing, which color they were going to paint their house of. -Green the husband said. -No! of course not honey that's so silly! All other houses around the block are of the same exact color! I want to paint it orange. - I said GREEN the man replied. - Orange it is! the woman insisted. -Ok then... let me see what I can do the man said while searching for something in his car -Here you have. He said as he extended a paint bucket. - Oh! John I can't believe you knew! She said as she opened the bucket to find out that he had already bought orange paint for their house. - I know your favorite color sweetie, I knew you would pick up orange from all the colors. He said as he gave a huge passionate kiss to his beloved wife, she have him a tight hug and they both entered the house with happy smiles on their faces. He knows her favorite color too, red. From all the colors she preferred the color of passion, the color of love. Everything about her was so exciting, her mysterious past, her hidden feelings and her amazing presence. Her eyes were everything to him, even though her long legs, tiny waist and perfect body might be perfect for everyone else, the thing of her he loved the most were those stunning eyes. Those eyes told him before she did that he meant everything for her, he knew... He still does.

She was staring at the window, trying to avoid the fact that most men at the restaurant were staring at her despite their wives and girlfriends angry look. She knows she is desired by most men, she knows she can have the one she picks. But the _one_ she would die for is not the one she can spend her life with. No one in the world knew her, no one in the entire world knows that she cares for, what she does or how she feels like.

Sometimes according to her mission, she needs to seduce men. To cheat on them, to pretend she loves them. John was not the first one, nor the last one. She already forgot how many times she had received an I love you as an answer after letting someone to think they posses her heart. John was not special among the others, however she always felt grateful towards him since he was involved into what turned to introduce herself to Leon. To other people that was not a typical way to meet the love of their lives, but it was to her... She had lived those situations before, she had experience, she had it _under control. "It is important to remain calmed and collected, even at the most extreme situations". _But actually loving someone... that was new to her, that rookie police officer tried to protect her not knowing she could kill him without hesitation, without any effort. She continued to think that she might use him to carry on her plans to then dispose of him as she is used to, but she couldn't. His insistence made it difficult to her to abandon him, she tried to leave him behind with to his own luck but that didn't happen. Leon kept appearing trying his best to keep her safe, he took a bullet for her saving her life. With that he turned into the first person who actually cared for her, turning her thoughts into something she never felt before, warmth.

There was a warm feeling in her heart, it wasn't bad at all but it did the hell a lot harder for Ada to move on. At least she saved him, at least she told him. For a short moment she thought she was about to die, she shared her feelings and gave in. After meeting him, she turned into "Just a woman, who fell in love with him". There was no more, just a woman and a man who loved each other at the first sight, but they were not that lucky. For the first time Ada wished she wasn't a spy, she wished for being as simple as Leon was back then and just escape with him. But she knew she couldn't afford that.

Fifteen years have passed by... and they both look at the window of their house's thinking of themselves together, the life they both wanted but couldn't have. Leon has already slept with many woman, he is a handsome guy and many girls are willing to have him, to settle him down and give him the life he envies from other people. Maybe it would be easier, loving a normal woman, someone who can be there for him when he needs stability. But is not that simple; he is never home, he is never slow and his heart is already cut on a half.

-Leon, do you mind if I cook something for breakfast? I am hungry. - A woman said while holding a white blanket to her chest.

-Uhmm.. Its okey I guess, do whatever you want to. -Leon said while turning to his back trying to wake up.

-Ok, then I'll take a shower first. I will let the door open. She said after removing the blanket from her chest revealing her breasts to him. She was trying to seduce him but failed to. Due the lack of response she went to the bathroom as she said she would.

His cell phone rang and Leon picked up his call.

-Leon there is something you need to see, it is very important for you to be here - Hunningan said.

-What's the situation Hunningan? Can't you wait?

- I see you are enjoying your spare time aren't you? - Hunningan said making fun of him.

-Well yeah, kinda.

- I am glad you are trying to sleep after all Simmons situation, you really needed it.

- I cannot exactly say I've been sleeping all night long. Leon said

- Well Leon, I must remind you that every time I contact you it is not exactly to chat. You are still on duty. Hunningan said with her usual calmed face.

-Ok then, I'll be there in five minutes. Story of my life. Leon said while putting away his cellphone.

He picked up the shirt he left on the floor and the first jacket he found in his closet, in about three minutes he left his house with the woman in his bathroom waiting for him to come in.

**This is the end of the first chapter, Leon wants a stable woman. He wants a normal life, with kids, a wife, and his friends close to him. But he is not willing to end up his fight against Umbrella and bioterrorism... **


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

-Hunningan what is the important thing I need to see... I had company and I left her alone. Leon said with some humor in his face.

-Well , just take a look at this report. Hunningan said as she handed a folder to Leon.

His eyes stayed wide opened, his heart seemed to stop and immediately there was no one else in the world but himself. It was an international arrest warrant against the only woman he could ever imagine earning something like that... Ada Wong. He looked up for the reasons and there was no other than stealing vital information on a top secret research in Russia.

- Why is our government so interested on protecting a Russian research? -Leon said with a deep voice.

-I am not sure... Hunningan said

-HUNNINGAN?!- Leon's voice started to sound louder.

-I am not sure Leon, however you are not assigned to this case.

-WHAT?!  
-As you heard... I just wanted to tell you since I know you somehow care about her. I've been looking for some information to know if she is a real danger or if it is about some political problem.

-Well I don't understand...

- I tried my best to know who that woman is,... where she lives or what she does... But I've found nothing so far.

-So what am I supposed to do now? Leon said with an expression that was as happy to hear about her and as terrified to realize she could be on real danger.

-It's kind of complicated... The BSAA insisted on keeping up with this case, since they assume there might be some illegal management of bioorganic weaponry research. According to Chris if Ada Wong is really alive she could still mean some danger to the US, otherwise she wouldn't be so interested on stealing the research. However he thinks Ada Wong is already dead, and that maybe that research was stolen even before the incident in China.

-She can't be dead... I saw her, she saved me. Leon said while holding his fist against the desk.

-Remember I am not here to make your life harder Kennedy... Hunningan said while typing rapidly on her computer.

-What do you mean by that?

-I am sending you and Helena out of the country. I want to be sure you two get to Russia way before the BSAA does. Investigate the real target of that research, if anything happens while being there I want you to look for her and arrest her. The BSAA will take care of the Russian facility in case they are really dealing with BOWs. She might have a new strain on her hands, or either a vaccine.

-Ok, I'll go back to my apartment to get some things I left there.

-Just be quick, I will wait for Helena to arrive then you both need to get out of here now. As usual you don't need to carry any of your personal items, so you can't be identified in case something bad happens.

-And it happens almost all the time... Don't worry Hunningan it's just something I cannot leave behind.

She hates winter, as much as she hates cold weather. It is uncomfortable to wear nice clothes with so much cold. Not that she won't, but it makes it harder.

A man was staring at her, he was tall and his pale skin matched his light blue eyes as much as his straight blond hair. She felt attracted to him as well, so she decided to take the first step.

- Do I know you gentleman? She said as she pulled back a lock of her hair.

The man smiled at her as he offered his seat to her.

-Do you want to join me?

-Well that depends... Do you want me to? She said with her calmed and seductive voice tone.

-Of course... And No, I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you. Your name is?...

-Ada... my name is Ada. You know... I'm new on this town, do you know if there's some place where I can hang out?

The man nervously tried to stand up as fast as he could and paid to the waitress for his and her coffee.

-There's a place I think you might like... We can get there by walking it is not that far away.

-So what do you to for the living? Said the man while walking and avoiding direct eye contact with her.

-Well... that is a tricky one. All I can tell is that I do international business working here and there.

-International business? That sounds like a lot of work...

-More than you can even imagine. Her eyes seemed to lose some shine while answering to that statement. What about you? What do you do?

- I sell computers... not domestic computers but industrial ones. All big companies in here need more efficient systems and I am the one who can deliver exactly what they need.

-Sounds interesting...* and calmed she said to herself*

-Well here we are, hope you are not disappointed...

That place was so beautiful... bright colors everywhere. It was a fair themed as a carnival. Snacks, cotton candy, pop corn and hundreds of games... She was more used being invited to five stars restaurants and fancy clubs, but that was way different... and way better.

The first thing that caught her attention was how big the Fortune wheel was... how perfectly decorated was every single inch of that place. There were hundreds of people, kids, wives and their husbands... also young couples hanging out.

-I can't believe I missed this.

-You haven't been on a fair before? You got to be kidding me...

- No... this is the first time.

-Well that's something I can take advantage of... He laughed.

-I think so... You better be a good host.

They spent hours taking every ride on the fair, they laughed, they ate candies, popcorn and almost everything on sale...

As hours passed by, she started to get tired and he offered to walk her to her place. As they arrived he tried to get closer to kiss her. They almost did...

-Sorry Leon I can't...

-What?

- I just can't...

-My name is not Leon... it is Kevin

She was shocked... Of course she knew he wasn't Leon. Why did she said his name?

-Sorry Kevin, I forgot your name... my bad.

-Actually... I never introduced myself to you. So I think it was my fault either.

He thought it was just a misunderstanding... he thought she picked up that name out of nowhere, but he couldn't be more wrong. That was the name of a man... a real man. She wear scars on her body because of him, as she also does in her heart even though she will never accept it.

Laying on her bed she looked around to see where she was. There she had so many things... expensive and beautiful clothes to wear, extravagant furniture, a huge room and a enormous bed. Even though everything was what almost every women would want to have everything felt so impersonal... so cold and empty.

-I just wish it was you... She said as she turned to her back while trying to fall asleep.

-Okay Hunningan I'm here... Where's Helena?

-She is already in the airport, we are heading there.

-Leon!

-Helena!

-So you heard... He said with both sadness and happiness at the same time.

-Yeah, well don't worry that much... We will find her and hopefully this will be a huge misunderstanding from the government. We know she is alive... so keep your hopes up OK Buddy?

-Yeah... You are right. Well let's move we have to hurry! He said as he entered to the airplane.

...

-You still have that old key ring?

-Yes, I do... He said as he showed his teddy bear key ring to his partner. And it's not the only thing I brought... He pulled out of his pocket the tiny powder compact with the butterfly engraving.

-You are really crazy you know that right?

-Yes I am... I keep thinking over a woman I met 15 years ago.

-That's not the reason why I think you are crazy... You are because even knowing you love her you keep playing dumb around her. So she runs away? Then grab her! Tell her you love her! You have never done it before... Are you afraid of suffering? Well let me tell you something... You have already suffered for 15 years. But well here we find ourselves looking for her to _arrest_ her... if that's not romantic then I don't know what is... Her sarcastic statement went directly to his spine, he was trying to avoid thinking of that part of the mission. Hopefully she wasn't involved this time... Hopefully she has always been on his same side.

_Somehow she knew he felt something for her... However she couldn't let herself fall completely in love with him. Hours seemed minutes while being together and seconds seemed hours being apart, nothing was the same... Anything was like with everyone else._

_She would do everything to be minutes around him, however she kept running away when he tried to be close to her. An irrational fear, a fear without any motives._

_Maybe it was her personality, she was strong while him so weak... him so sensitive and her so distant. None of them did anything to prove themselves their love, neither wanted to lose that odd yet warm feeling while being together. _

_Secretly, silently... she loved him for over 15 years... So much time wasted, so much time they could have been together. _

**Sorry guys! I didn't mean to delay that much the second chapter... I had been really busy with homework assignments and else... Hopefully you liked it! I feel so grateful for such wonderful reviews! I can't believe someone is taking their time to read what I wrote. Thank you again and please Leave your comment! You can help me out to continue this story :B**


End file.
